I've heard this a dozen times, but it never really hit home with me before, I've never really taken it to heart. The other day something on television (Dr. Phil perhaps?) caught my attention.
We have to catch our children in the act.
Not in the act of misbehaving, something even more important, we have to catch them behaving! Catch them sharing, listening, or trying hard. Too often we let these chances to praise go by without taking advantage, or even noticing, them. Yet we snap at the chance to scold or punish.
If we had only praised the good behavior that they showed moments ago, we might not find our selves scolding them now. If our children feel that we only notice their negative behaviors, they will start to feel as though it's pointless for them to act appropriately because Mommy and Daddy don't notice anyway! But children love praise, and if we praise a behavior we like in our children, we are more likely to see that behavior again and again.
And this doesn't look the same for all children. My oldest daughter is generally calm and collected, so I have to try hard to find things to praise with her, because I've come to expect those behaviors from her. My son on the other hand is a wild child, he's bouncing off the walls most of the time, so simple things like sitting still at the dinner table provide opportunities of praise for him.
All in all, I've found that children respond to positive praise better than negative punishment (and believe me, I've tried it all!). Now that isn't to say that discipline is never in order, but I've found that we don't need it as often since implementing this new tactic.
